Every year, you tell yourself, “I am going to lock in.” Or at least every year since that phrase was coined. But a year passes—quicker than the last—and you still never lock in. You fall back into old habits, create some new ones, and end up as a slightly better or slightly worse version of yourself.

Here Are Five Reasons Why You Don’t “Lock In”

1. You Often Try to Make Big Changes When You Really Need Small Ones

Run the mile before you run the marathon.

You set goals far above your pay grade—so far from anything you’ve ever done—that they’re simply unattainable.
You tell yourself you’re going to run a marathon, yet you haven’t even run a 5K. Heck, you haven’t even run two miles without stopping.

Start with one mile—the first 1% (technically 3.81% of a marathon). That’s better than going 5% and then never running again because you hurt yourself.

1% a day is better than nothing at all. And at the end of the year, you’ll be more than 100% better.

2. Your Life Doesn’t Need a Reset — Just Refinement

Let’s not reinvent the wheel here; let’s simply improve it.

Maybe you’ve been building a “wheel,” and it works. It’s great. There’s nothing wrong with it. It gets the job done — but there’s no progress. It rolls to the same place every time, successfully, but never any farther. You might be tempted to throw the whole wheel away and start creating something new.

But the truth is, a wheel is the best tool for the job. It just needs improvement. Maybe it needs to be lighter, made from a different material, or paired with another wheel for support. Add an axle. Then a motor. Wait… are we building a car now?

You get my point. We scrap the life we have because we think it sucks, when ultimately, we just need to improve it — to build onto it.

You don’t need to move to another country and change your name for your life to get better. Maybe making new friends, trying a new coffee shop, or even just taking a walk every day is the small improvement you need to get where you want to be.

3. Creating New Habits Is Really Just About Replacing Old Ones

The void must be filled with something.

Here’s another terrible analogy paired with my questionable understanding of science: “nothing” doesn’t exist. The air we breathe isn’t nothing — it’s full of chemicals and elements. Even a vacuum, which we perceive as empty, is not truly empty.
(Great video on this: Empty Space Is Unstable)

So what’s my point?

If you want to remove something from your life, you must replace it with something else. There cannot be empty space — it will be filled with something. And if you leave a void, it will eventually implode.

I’ve read a lot about addiction, and the biggest idea that stuck out to me is this: removing any addiction or bad habit is simply a matter of replacing it with a good one.

Now, I say “simple,” but the hard part is knowing what habit to replace it with — and staying away from new habits that could turn bad. This also ties back to #1: replace one thing at a time. You’ll often see a domino effect where kicking one bad habit makes it easier to kick another.

In short: replace what you no longer want in your life with something you do want in your life.

4. We Prioritize Action Over Rest

You can’t move effectively when you’re running on empty.

It’s not just physical fatigue but mental fatigue. It wears on you. It adds up.

Hustle culture says, “Wake up at 5 a.m.” and “Pull the all-nighter.”
Truth is: those two statements are not compatible.

Most humans need at least eight hours of sleep.

My grandpa used to say, “When the car’s on E, that just means there’s enough,” or something like that. And while it’s an optimistic statement, eventually, you need to fill up.

“Enough” will only take you so far before it’s no longer enough and you’re stranded on the side of the road.

This isn’t just about sleep. It’s about much more.

We need rest: rest from our phones, from the news, from work, from friends, from family.

This doesn’t mean ignoring your responsibilities—just making sure you’re full enough as a person to handle them effectively.

5. Learn to Say No

It’s easy to say yes, hard to say no.

Saying yes to every opportunity is a great way to avoid FOMO—and an even better way to become a people pleaser.

Saying yes to everything will feel good, and it may even lead you to opportunities you would have said no to otherwise. The issue?

You cannot say yes to everything.

You can, however, say no to most things.

You can only physically be in one place at a time.
Every yes is a no to something else.
If you block out your calendar for anything, you’re saying no to everything else.

So what does this mean?

Default to no.

Defaulting to no means you have to come up with a reason to say yes instead of a reason to say no. It removes the guilt, the mental gymnastics, and the pressure. It gives you back control over your life.

When you think about why you’re saying yes, it gives you better judgment and self-control. You choose your life instead of letting it choose you.